Conquering fear to find love – the best journeys start right now

  By Silouan | June 17, 2013 - 2:41 am |
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Some first steps are easier than others. Maximus did his in style! Saggy diaper and all! :)

Some first steps are easier than others. Maximus did his in style! Saggy diaper and all! :)

Pain and trauma can isolate us. Focused on something you have lost, or something that has caused you agony, you lose sight of life and get tunnel vision. It can be suffocating.

You relive past events you can’t change. Your memories haunt you like ghosts. You are alone; in the darkness, in the past.

All of this keeps you looking backward over your shoulder.  But to live, you must move forward.

Who wants to hear your story?  Who could empathize with your travails? Who will understand? Questions like these further beat you down.

One key to taking that first step forward is erasing the fears that you are alone in your pain. You are not alone. We all have cracks. We all suffer. We all get tunnel vision.

It is scary to reach out to people for fear your hand might get slapped, you might get embarrassed, you might feel ashamed and a whole host of other scary emotions. You might. But what is more likely? When you reach out into the darkness and have the courage to keep it there, you usually find someone willing to take hold and help you take a step.

Then there is this present moment.  Reaching out to move forward means making a decision RIGHT NOW to act. Don’t put it off. It can be a small step. Write down a plan in a journal. Share a goal or fear or desire with someone. Get out of the house and go to the park. Pick up the guitar collecting dust in the corner. Whatever it is, do it NOW. Act while you have the momentum.

Finally, you need accountability and a plan. Reaching out to someone really means finding someone to hold you accountable. And the only way someone can hold you accountable is if you have a clear plan with goals. Now, it can be a simple plan and simple goals, but defining them, writing them down, and then sharing with someone who will hold you accountable is a powerful thing.

I know. I have been all alone, barely holding on to my sanity and will to live.  I wrote the following poem from my book, Who Am I?, when I was sleeping with a gun to my head. I had tunnel vision and I thought my life was over even though I was still just a young man. Less than 9 months after writing this I’d meet the woman who would become my wife. We’ve now been married over 14 years, have 7 children, and have made life incredible.  But if you would have told me nine months before I met her that I had much of a future, I would have mockingly laughed at you.  What future could a young man sleeping with a gun to his head have?

What did I do to move forward? I ACTED when I decided I had had enough. I bought the guitar I had always wanted to learn how to play. Then I stumbled upon a plan to buy a motorcycle and travel the country when I was discharged from the Marines. Then I told some friends, got some advice, and made my self accountable to those around me whom I had told I was going on the adventure of a lifetime. But oh my goodness was I scared when I started.

Thankfully, regardless of my fear and pain, she was there waiting for me, unknown to us both until I took that step forward to live.

We are not alone in our pain.  We turn around, look ahead, and overcome.  Together. When you move forward out of the darkness you will find others on a journey toward the light.

From the book Who Am I? by Silouan Green:

Faith
A shadow dimly cast
Thin beam, a pale reflection

No fireworks
No trumpets sounded
No proclamation of truth

No poetry

Holding on to the only thing I could
Because there was nothing else

 

A couple post reminders:

LIVE BETTER!

I began this journey focused on reaching those living in the dark with PTSD.  I soon realized their greatest hurdle is one we all face, learning to live free in a world where it is all too easy to get caught up in the stream and lose sight of ourself. I want you to live free.

1) To make sure you receive updates on all my new posts, please either subscribe to the blog or click on the RSS logo at the top of the page.

2) I’m PASSIONATE and COMMITTED about helping people struggling with life learn to live free.  Your purchase of Who Am I? and The Ladder UPP are what allows me to meet this demand as much as I can. Many of those groups I travel to help have no money and no budget.

Who am I? and The Ladder UPP workbook will inspire you and provide practical, easy-to-follow tools to live a better life.  They will also equip you to help others wanting to live free, from struggling mothers facing a chaotic family to floundering veterans dealing with PTSD, from worn out fathers to teenagers struggling to separate from the pack and find their own identity and purpose.

These are the same materials that I use for my discussion/ peer groups and workshops. You will feel empowered to conquer life and you will feel confident you can help someone take that first step to living free and overcoming life’s cracks. You can get them both by clicking here at Amazon.

Twitt

Live your dream – overcome the tyranny of the now

  By Silouan | June 12, 2013 - 8:08 pm |
2 Comments
The mountaintop is in sight. The only thing keeping you from getting there is that first step.

The mountaintop is in sight. The only thing keeping you from getting there is that first step.

The truth is that the idea of following our dreams is a divisive subject. People like to talk about it in general terms, but when it comes time to act the momentum of the world can stop us in our tracks.

The moment we step out and follow a dream our community can consume us with practicality, fear, and the weight of what we are supposed to be doing – join the stream, get a job with benefits, save for your 401k, get old, etc.

Those things might very well be part of your dream.  But so might – sell everything and move to Australia, take a lone motorcycle journey, move to the country and homeschool my children, start my own business, learn the guitar and sing in coffee shops, or whatever it might be.

Then the tyranny of the now can stop us in our tracks – “is that really practical”, “do you know what you’ll have to give up for that”, “can you afford that”, “what about health insurance and benefits” and all the excuses you can imagine and fear.

You won’t climb Mount Everest with good intentions.  You have to take that first step, and you have to keep taking them.  They can be big steps or small steps, it doesn’t matter as long as your momentum is forward. Here are some tips to help you begin the journey and overcome the tyranny of the now.

1) Write down your dreams.  Write down what your life will look like if you accomplish your dreams. Write down what your life looks like now and 10 years from now if you don’t make changes. This will help illustrate what you are really giving up if you succumb to the tyranny of the now.

2) Simplify. My favorite blog to help simplify is Leo Babauta’s ZenHabits.net.  He is extreme, but you’ll learn something. All the crap we accumulate, all the debt we have, all the obligations we submit to, can imprison our real freedom.  Simplify your life and many of the obstacles to following your dreams will go away.

3) Learn from people who followed their dreams and made them happen.  Don’t just assume the lessons from someone who played it safe and didn’t follow their dreams has any basis in your reality.

4) Never give up! It’s true, most people quit right before they succeed. When things get tough – simplify more, focus more, pray more, love more.

5) Listen quietly.  Listen for God.  Listen to those you would emulate. Walk into the woods and just listen to the wind blowing – away from Facebook, the phone, e-mail, and all the other things that can contribute to the tyranny of the now.

There are so many things we cannot control.  We will all die. We will all have hardships.  Playing it safe doesn’t protect you from trials and can often lead to a life that is muddling and unfulfilled.

Chasing a dream comes with risks, but overcoming risk and fear is ultimately what defines us.

Take a step, run for the rainbow, overcome the tyranny of the now.

 

A couple post reminders:

LIVE BETTER!

I began this journey focused on reaching those living in the dark with PTSD.  I soon realized their greatest hurdle is one we all face, learning to live free in a world where it is all too easy to get caught up in the stream and lose sight of ourself. I want you to live free.

1) To make sure you receive updates on all my new posts, please either subscribe to the blog or click on the RSS logo at the top of the page.

2) I’m PASSIONATE and COMMITTED about helping people struggling with life learn to live free.  Your purchase of Who Am I? and The Ladder UPP are what allows me to meet this demand as much as I can. Many of those groups I travel to help have no money and no budget.

Who am I? and The Ladder UPP workbook will inspire you and provide practical, easy-to-follow tools to live a better life.  They will also equip you to help others wanting to live free, from struggling mothers facing a chaotic family to floundering veterans dealing with PTSD, from worn out fathers to teenagers struggling to separate from the pack and find their own identity and purpose.

These are the same materials that I use for my discussion/ peer groups and workshops. You will feel empowered to conquer life and you will feel confident you can help someone take that first step to living free and overcoming life’s cracks. You can get them both by clicking here at Amazon.

Twitt

The National Guard, Reserves, and PTSD

  By Silouan | June 10, 2013 - 9:21 pm |
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A Skyhawk and Phantom near Cherry Point MCAS. Taken on my recent trip speaking on PTSD. When it comes to helping our troops, don't to forget to aim high for our Reservists and National Guardsmen.

A Skyhawk and Phantom near Cherry Point MCAS. Taken on my recent trip speaking on PTSD. When it comes to helping our troops, don’t to forget to aim high for our Reservists and National Guardsmen.

I just returned from speaking to a National Guard infantry unit near Peoria, Illinois.  They were a great group of men who are true Citizen Soldiers. After spending over four hours with them, you really begin to realize the hurdles Guardsmen and Reservists who were deployed face.  They have a fraction of the resources of active-duty troops and when they return from deployment it is not to a huge military base with enormous funding and extensive resources, but it is back home to wherever they were from. And unlike their brothers and sisters on active duty, the pay stops when they return home which for many means looking for a job in a horrible economy just weeks from having been in harms way.

It can be a shocking transition. If you are active duty when you come home you are still surrounded by other service men and women and your life is still ordered by the military. For a guardsman though, once you go through a few days of post-mobilization training you are home, on your own.

Now, I don’t want to downplay anything our active duty troops go through, they have their own particular hurdles and issues that come with the transition home, I just want to make sure we don’t forget the men and women in our communities right now who serve in the Guard and Reserves and can sometimes get lost in the cracks.

The potential isolation of a returning Guardsmen can play right into the hand of posttraumatic stress disorder or PTSD.  PTSD feeds off of isolation, estrangement, and loneliness. It makes us feel “different” from everybody else.  If I’m a Guardsmen who has just returned from deployment and I’m home far away from my unit and anything resembling the military, I can feel isolated and alone quickly.

What to do?  Well, it’s the same recipe I’ve been recommending for a while.  We can’t allow people to be alone.  Whether we are a father, mother, daughter, son, sister, veteran’s group, church, whatever, we have to get even more active in reaching out to veterans and making them a part of our communities. Don’t be passive, don’t count on someone else helping, be active and you be the one to reach out a hand.

Now whenever I say this, there is undoubtedly the person who responds, “what do you mean, there are tons of resources and many people reaching out. We are doing plenty.”

Well, it may feel that way, but the truth is that all of the bad statistics for veterans keep going up or improve very little – suicide, PTSD, unemployment, homelessness, etc. Like every thing in our media age, a story can get big and we are fooled into believing the narrative.  The current narrative can sometimes be that we’ve never done more to help our veterans.  But the truth is that we still are not meeting the mental health challenge and we need to do better.  That is not to belittle the tremendous effort of the countless people and organizations who try hard to aid our veterans.  We just need to do better.

So do better, and don’t forget our National Guardsmen and Reserves.  There are huge cracks they call fall through when they come home and every one of us needs to be there for them.

You know somebody with a few cracks in life, maybe a Reservist or Guardsmen.  Invite them to coffee or lunch today and commit yourself to making sure they know that if you are ever needed, you’ll answer the call.
A couple post reminders:

LIVE BETTER!

I began this journey focused on reaching those living in the dark with PTSD.  I soon realized their greatest hurdle is one we all face, learning to live free in a world where it is all too easy to get caught up in the stream and lose sight of ourself. I want you to live free.
1) To make sure you receive updates on all my new posts, please either subscribe to the blog or click on the RSS logo at the top of the page.
2) I’m PASSIONATE and COMMITTED about helping people struggling with life learn to live free.  Your purchase of Who Am I? and The Ladder UPP are what allows me to meet this demand as much as I can. Many of those groups I travel to help have no money and no budget.

Who am I? and The Ladder UPP workbook will inspire you and provide practical, easy-to-follow tools to live a better life.  They will also equip you to help others wanting to live free, from struggling mothers facing a chaotic family to floundering veterans dealing with PTSD, from worn out fathers to teenagers struggling to separate from the pack and find their own identity and purpose.
These are the same materials that I use for my discussion/ peer groups and workshops. You will feel empowered to conquer life and you will feel confident you can help someone take that first step to living free and overcoming life’s cracks. You can get them both by clicking here at Amazon.

 

Twitt

The most important step in caring for those with PTSD, especially our veterans

  By Silouan | June 6, 2013 - 4:53 pm |
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You know you are near a military base when there is an Intruder sitting in the Hotel's front yard! Taken near Cherry Point MCAS where I was speaking to Marines and counselors on PTSD. The sound of freedom was in the air!

You know you are near a military base when there is an Intruder sitting in the Hotel’s front yard! Taken near Cherry Point MCAS where I was speaking to Marines and counselors on PTSD. The sound of freedom was in the air!

Many of our veterans make the transition from service to civilian life with little help, and for some, on their own. We spend millions of dollars and many years training them to fight, then we do far less to help them make the about face to civilian life. For most it is a 5-day Transition Class that has limited time to deal with a whole host of discharge issues and as a result has little time to address the mental health toll of service and the transition from warrior to civilian.

For most of our history this journey back home was made in the arms of the local communities our veterans had come from. Tragically, those who didn’t have a solid “home” could fall through the cracks as many young men and women do today. And sometimes the toll of service can be so severe, even those with a solid community of support desperately need a helping hand.

But today, never have fewer men and women served compared to the general population. Never have families been smaller and more disconnected. Never has the idea of community been so cracked. Everyone is online but few have true close life-long friends and few experience real family once they leave home.

Is it any wonder then why so many veterans fall through the cracks and are forgotten? We are so disconnected from one another they are in essence out of sight and out of mind to most people.

So what can you do? You can reach out to them one hand at a time. In person, not through a computer screen. Rather, over coffee, hunting, running, etc. Conditions like PTSD prey on loneliness and isolation. They can fester for years and even decades. We feel disconnected from others and afraid that no one will understand and no one will be able to help. So don’t wait for a veteran to reach out to you. The pain of PTSD means they probably won’t reach out to anyone until the cracks are so huge they can’t hide anymore. Be pro-active, build a true relationship with someone you know has experienced trauma and you will have provided them with something more valuable than any therapy or drug, a friend they trust and a friend with whom they can confide and open up to.

The first step in facing our demons is feeling safe to do so. You can help your friends and loved ones do that. You do not need their same experiences, we have all been broken in some way, you just have to possess the patience and commitment to care for them old school – in person, enjoying life together, building the kind of bonds that help someone live looking forward. If they are your son, daughter, brother, sister, friend or acquaintance, you can make a difference.

Right now, as you read this, write down someone you know who has lived through trauma whether they are a veteran or not. Broke is broke and we should care for each other regardless of the label we’ve been given. Now promise yourself you will build a relationship with them. Long-term, committed, and patient.

Please check back soon as I’ll have more information on how to help your loved ones and friends suffering from PTSD and other mental health trauma.

A couple post reminders:

LIVE BETTER!

I began this journey focused on reaching those living in the dark with PTSD.  I soon realized their greatest hurdle is one we all face, learning to live free in a world where it is all too easy to get caught up in the stream and lose sight of ourself. I want you to live free.
1) To make sure you receive updates on all my new posts, please either subscribe to the blog or click on the RSS logo at the top of the page.
2) I’m PASSIONATE and COMMITTED about helping people struggling with life learn to live free.  Your purchase of Who Am I? and The Ladder UPP are what allows me to meet this demand as much as I can. Many of those groups I travel to help have no money and no budget.

Who am I? and The Ladder UPP workbook will inspire you and provide practical, easy-to-follow tools to live a better life.  They will also equip you to help others wanting to live free, from struggling mothers facing a chaotic family to floundering veterans dealing with PTSD, from worn out fathers to teenagers struggling to separate from the pack and find their own identity and purpose.
These are the same materials that I use for my discussion/ peer groups and workshops. You will feel empowered to conquer life and you will feel confident you can help someone take that first step to living free and overcoming life’s cracks. You can get them both by clicking here at Amazon.

Twitt

Three simple life changes to lose weight and stay fit

  By Silouan | June 3, 2013 - 3:18 pm | ,
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Maximus #9 on the pitch scoring a goal! When you are young you can pretty much eat how you want and stay fit. Not the case when you are the parent raising the young David Beckam!

Maximus #9 on the pitch scoring a goal! When you are young you can pretty much eat how you want and stay fit. Not the case when you are the parent raising the young David Beckam!

As a former fitness freak who over the years let a little too much comfort food collect around my middle, when I decided to do something about it I discovered that losing weight as a middle-aged father of seven was a little different than putting the fitness pedal to the metal as a twenty-something hard charging Marine who won awards for fitness.

It’s primarily three things that can doom us to a pants size we are uncomfortable divulging to our friends: 1) a lowered metabolism, 2) a body that won’t quite keep up with the workouts it used to and 3) an unhealthy diet that accumulates weighty momentum year after year.

After much trial, error, and frustration, I discovered three simple things that allowed me to get fit, lose over 35 pounds, get down to my young Marine Corps weight and more importantly, keep it off.

1) Exercise in the morning (at a minimum, 20 minutes of cardio when you wake up before you go to work).  This kicks in your metabolism for the day and thus allows you to burn more calories throughout the day. (FYI, I love my Nordic Track.  Low impact, strenuous, work arms and legs at the same time, cheap to buy on eBay.)

2) Eat NOTHING after dinner, especially before you go to bed.  Anything you eat after dinner will inevitably get metabolized to fat as your body slows down.  It is a vicious reality that is hard to overcome with any amount of exercise or diet, you just can’t eat in the evening.

and

3) Drink LOTS of water!  Again, it helps with a healthy metabolism, helps with hunger pangs, and just makes your body run better. Drink a glass at every meal, and at least one when you wake up, in between meals, and when you go to bed.

These three things are about the only changes I made in my lifestyle to lose the weight and keep it off.  I wish I had followed it when I was younger. I might have been bionic! :)

Stay strong and follow your passions! Aging is just an opportunity for more adventures. Make sure your body is up for the journey.

And might I note as someone who spends most of his time helping those with PTSD and others effected by trauma and poor mental health – physical fitness is one of the best things you can do for happiness and mental resiliency.  It is no coincidence that your physical fitness can go to pot when you are depressed.

A couple post reminders:

LIVE BETTER!

I began this journey focused on reaching those living in the dark with PTSD.  I soon realized their greatest hurdle is one we all face, learning to live free in a world where it is all too easy to get caught up in the stream and lose sight of ourself. I want you to live free.
1) To make sure you receive updates on all my new posts, please either subscribe to the blog or click on the RSS logo at the top of the page.
2) I’m PASSIONATE and COMMITTED about helping people struggling with life learn to live free.  Your purchase of Who Am I? and The Ladder UPP are what allows me to meet this demand as much as I can. Many of those groups I travel to help have no money and no budget.

Who am I? and The Ladder UPP workbook will inspire you and provide practical, easy-to-follow tools to live a better life.  They will also equip you to help others wanting to live free, from struggling mothers facing a chaotic family to floundering veterans dealing with PTSD, from worn out fathers to teenagers struggling to separate from the pack and find their own identity and purpose.
These are the same materials that I use for my discussion/ peer groups and workshops. You will feel empowered to conquer life and you will feel confident you can help someone take that first step to living free and overcoming life’s cracks. You can get them both by clicking here at Amazon.

Twitt

The most important lesson to remember when raising children

  By Silouan | May 31, 2013 - 4:50 pm |
2 Comments
Maximus and bird at the Washington Park Zoo. Teach your children to live life with wonder and they'll reward you with a million blessed memories.

Maximus and bird at the Washington Park Zoo. Teach your children to live life with wonder and they’ll reward you with a million blessed memories.

After spending years helping many troubled children from all around the country and from all walks of life, and raising seven of my own together with my wife, I’ve learned that one piece of parental advice is more important than all the rest.

Live your life with the same values and integrity you want them to live by. Or at least try hard to follow the lessons you teach them.

Kids will tune you out as they grow older if they see that you don’t “walk the talk” so to speak.

Be honest.
Don’t take shortcuts.
Follow your dreams.
Be faithful.
Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
And on and on we pontificate.

But do we follow these rules ourselves? Does our life have a deep purpose or do we just seek to avoid pain while chasing temporary pleasures?

In reality, our lives often paint this picture:

Honesty is situational.
Take any shortcut you can.
Who really follows their dreams? Be practical.
Faith is optional, uh, I mean personal.
Do unto others as they deserve.
And on and on we live.

What does that tell our children? When they are young we are their universe. We form their image of God.

Want to know what teenage rebellion is? It’s when they realize there image of God was full of crap.

It is only our ego and vanity that tells us we cannot be transparent with our children. In fact, it is transparency, admitting out mistakes, saying we are sorry when we are wrong, that builds the trust they need to believe us when we teach them the lessons that will shape their lives.

There will always be trials, but if we ask forgiveness they will forgive and we both will have a better chance to truly live life as it was meant to be lived.

With honesty.
With commitment.
Following our dreams.
With faith.
Loving others.
And on and on.

A couple post reminders:

LIVE BETTER!

I began this journey focused on reaching those living in the dark with PTSD.  I soon realized their greatest hurdle is one we all face, learning to live free in a world where it is all too easy to get caught up in the stream and lose sight of ourself. I want you to live free.
1) To make sure you receive updates on all my new posts, please either subscribe to the blog or click on the RSS logo at the top of the page.
2) I’m PASSIONATE and COMMITTED about helping people struggling with life learn to live free.  Your purchase of Who Am I? and The Ladder UPP are what allows me to meet this demand as much as I can. Many of those groups I travel to help have no money and no budget.

Who am I? and The Ladder UPP workbook will inspire you and provide practical, easy-to-follow tools to live a better life.  They will also equip you to help others wanting to live free, from struggling mothers facing a chaotic family to floundering veterans dealing with PTSD, from worn out fathers to teenagers struggling to separate from the pack and find their own identity and purpose.
These are the same materials that I use for my discussion/ peer groups and workshops. You will feel empowered to conquer life and you will feel confident you can help someone take that first step to living free and overcoming life’s cracks. You can get them both by clicking here at Amazon.

Twitt

Five tips to make your road trips safer and better

  By Silouan | May 18, 2013 - 1:29 am |
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Taken at a rest stop in West Virginia. On a road trip: take breaks, bring a camera, and don't be in such a hurry that moments like this pass in the rear view mirror.

Taken at a rest stop in West Virginia. On a road trip: take breaks, bring a camera, and don’t be in such a hurry that moments like this pass in the rear view mirror.

I drive about 50,000 miles a year.  I vowed over a decade ago that if someone ever asked for my help dealing with PTSD or any other trauma I would go, and so now I go quite a bit. In doing so, I’ve learned some rules to making long road trips as pleasant as possible. These all are really no-brainers.

1) Take lots of water with you.  Get a good thermos and use it.  Don’t count on drinking when you get gas. I realized after I forced myself to bring and regularly drink water that most of my traveling uneasiness could be traced to not drinking enough water.

2) NEVER drive more than 4 hours straight.  Especially on long trips. You need to stretch and get the blood flowing. It’s been shown that hours upon hours of driving can lead to deadly blood clots and other unpleasant things.  Take advantage of rest stops.  You’ll be surprised how nice most are, especially as you enter a state, and the strange but interesting people you’ll meet if you take a few minutes to stretch and walk around.

3) Gas prices can vary over 50 cents a gallon or more from state to state.  Get yourself a good gas pricing app for your phone so you never get gas for $3.79 a gallon in Indiana when you can travel a little ways into Kentucky and get it for $3.16.  This very thing happened on my last trip south. I recommend gasbuddy.com.

4) Change your oil about every 5000 miles and ALWAYS have your fluids checked and filled when you do.  Rotate your tires every 10,000 miles religiously. Take advantage of Midas.  They will check out your entire car and run a diagnostic test for any warning lights for FREE! Following this advice has allowed me to keep my car running like new for over 200,000 miles. A well maintained automobile should last as long as you want it to.

5) Drive enough and you will need a good emergency kit at least once.  Make sure you have jumper cables, a good jack you know how to use, and a flashlight that you periodically check the batteries.  A flat tire in the middle of the night in the Smoky mountains, and leaving a light on overnight that drained your battery far from home will make you realize these items are worth their weight in gold.

Bonus tip: Bring a CAMERA everywhere!  You’ll be amazed what you forget if you don’t take a picture of it.

Bonus tip #2: Get satellite radio! Seriously, my mind would have been mush long ago without XM to listen to.

 

 

Twitt

The Two Things in Life You Can Control, or The monk and the photographer, a wild trip at Mt. Lassen National Park, California

  By Silouan | April 9, 2013 - 7:00 pm |
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The Szegi brothers chasing the light.

The Szegi brothers chasing the light.

The good fellows in this picture are the Szegi brothers, one a photographer and the other now a monk. I took this picture in the midst of a wild ride up, over, and around the winding roads of Mount Lassen National Park. We were chasing the light.

We were working on an article for my magazine, Bearfoot Magazine – Journal of Northern California Outdoors, and we were looking for a signature picture for the article. The day was winding down and the golden hour of sunlight fading. I drove like a complete maniac in my Nissan Pathfinder, alternating between slamming on the accelerator and slamming on the brakes as I navigated the insanely narrow, winding, and hilly roads. You might call them treacherous. We’d stop a moment for what might be the picture, then we’d rush back in the car and continue onward.

We smiled and laughed as I gripped the steering wheel with white knuckles and they hugged the arm rests. We were chasing the light and we would not be defeated. By the end, the engine was steaming and the brakes were cooked, and let me tell you, overheated brake pads are a nasty smell.

We never actually got the perfect picture, but I drove away feeling victorious. We had chased the light, we had journeyed to the mountain top and we would do it again. We were exhausted, but you can fall fast asleep knowing you left everything on the court, so to speak.

When you chase the light, you can only be victorious. The only things you can control in life are your effort and desire. Without either, you aren’t living, you are merely existing.

Twitt

The number 1 killer of hope

  By Silouan | April 8, 2013 - 2:24 pm |
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Somewhere in the woods near Highway 1, California.

Somewhere in the woods near Highway 1, California.

Shame can kill you. With time, it can be pretty easy to ask forgiveness for something you feel guilty about.  It can even feel good to do. But shame?  Shame does not want to see the light of day.  It wants to fester inside of us.  It wants to eat us and punish us with its perverted justice.

But the light of day isn’t just effective on guilt, it can begin to heal shame.

I was reminded of this when I met a Vietnam vet who has recently been coming to grips with shame he has carried for over 40 years.  I won’t relay the details, but needless to say it was a “Platoon” or “Apocalypse Now” moment.  After all, it is impossible to be at war without coming face to face with evil and even the strongest of us can break under that pressure.

As bad as shame may be, when we allow it to uncork to people we trust, it really does lose its sting.  There might be tears, more apologies, and a deep feeling that no one will understand, but those things are just some of the crud coming out with the truth.

Shame’s greatest trick is when we give it the power to run havoc on our souls by keeping it a secret.  Find someone you can trust, someone you feel safe to unburden yourself to, and let shame lose its sting so you can live.

Twitt

Are you ready for spring?

  By Silouan | April 4, 2013 - 2:34 pm |
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A farm field near my home taken last spring. I love the passage of seasons here in the midwest.

A farm field near my home taken last spring. I love the passage of seasons here in the midwest.

I love this picture I took last year as spring was dawning.  It reminds me that life is a constant renewal.  A renewal for which we must be ready.  When was the last time you took an inventory of your life? What seeds have you planted lately? What are the things you are passionate about, and what are you doing to make them your life?  Are you ready for spring?

Twitt