You are not alone. We all get broken, yet we still search for meaning. We want our lives to matter. Even in the darkest nights a flicker of life can bring us hope.
You see, you can use your life trauma as fuel to live free. It was a choice I had to make, let physical and psychological pain break me to the point of suicide, or make a decision to live. It was hard, but I chose to live. It began with something simple, learning to play the guitar, something I had wanted to do since I was a child. It led to amazing adventures and ultimately an epic love story, an amazing family of eight children, and a deep faith in God that sometimes the best place to end up is down on our knees. This can be hard, if not impossible to believe when you are in the dark hole, but pain and hopelessness can bring the clarity and direction you need to live with purpose and create a life that matters. I know because I’ve seen it in myself and many others – parents who have lost children, first responders with a mountain of bloody memories, veterans of war, sexual abuse, ugly divorces, violence, you name it. I know you feel hopeless, but I’ve seen hopelessness turned into a triumph of life, over and over again.
So what can you do about it?
1) Get down on your knees. Right now, just go to your alone place, turn out the lights, fall to your knees, and listen. Listen until you feel empty and then be surprised at what fills the space.
2) Reach out to someone. You can’t do this alone. Sometimes a stranger is best, sometimes a close friend or a family member, sometimes a professional. Reach out to someone and start with “I feel alone. I don’t have hope. I don’t know how to live.” More than likely, they’ve been in the same place and will be as comforted by you as you are by them.
3) Write it all down. I have found this is often the best way to purge ourselves and begin to renew. Write down the good, the bad, the hopeful, the thankful, the regret, the anger, everything. You might burn it when you are done, you might want to share it with someone. It doesn’t matter, just get it out.
4) Make a small step. Read that book you’ve always wanted, step foot in church, go for a hike, learn an instrument, reach out to an old friend or family member. Take a step, whatever the size.
5) Help someone like you. We can find answers in the eyes of those we serve. I know that is where I often find my own best medicine. Volunteer at a shelter, smile at a stranger with a sad face, ask someone whom you know is suffering to join you for coffee. Trust me, there are plenty of opportunities to do this all around you, we all will face brokenness at some point in our life.
6) Repeat. And repeat. And repeat. Hope and purpose are like starting a fire in the middle of the woods on a cold, rainy night without matches. Those first sparks can fail, leaving us feeling worse than when we started, but if we stay at it eventually the fire will build and warm us deeper than we’ve ever felt before.
We have one life folks, we owe it to ourselves and we owe it to those who have gone before us to live free, to make it matter, to press forward with hope and purpose.
